Thursday, November 02, 2006

Peyton and Tom: The E-Mails

On "Cold Pizza" this morning, there was a revelation more startling than the fact that Adam Morrison and JJ play Halo together (Ten bucks says JJ memorizes the spawn sites). And even more startling than the revelation that I watch "Cold Pizza": Tom Brady and Peyton Manning E-Mail each other after big wins.

Rather than wait for these documents to surface, I decided to make them up.

From: 3RingKing@gmail.com
To: ManningMeister19@aol.com
Date: Oct 30, 2006: 1:19 AM
Subject: [No subject]

just wanted to congratulate you on your last win--great drive at the end. i'm still not worried about sunday though--ha ha. hey i haven't asked--what's your opinion on this whole shawn merriman thing? anyway, I'm trying not to type too loudly because a lady-friend of mind is trying to sleep. guess I better go.

the montana to your esiason (j/k!)
Tom

From: ManningMeister19@aol.com
To: 3RingKing@gmail.com
Date: Oct 30, 2006: 6:45 PM
Subject: What's Crack-a-Lackin?

Good to hear from you buddy! I'm typing this on my blackberry while I shoot a commercial for Herb's Waterbeds of Indy--"where there's more motion than the ocean!" I thought that was a pretty catchy slogan!
Anyway, good game on Sunday to you too. I don't remember you ever throwing for 4 tds before! For a second I thought I was watching me play as you in madden! Not that that ever happens! (working in a LOL mine)
A lady-friend, huh? Did you get to home base with her? I have a girlfriend I hit home runs with too. Only thing is that she lives in Canada! It sucks because whenever I'm not playing, I'm shooting commercials. So I never get to see her! I would send you a pic but I don't know where they are on my comp. Nextel said we could shoot our next spot in Toronto but she lives in Saskatchewan :(
The Merriman thing really surprised me! No wonder they beat us! I knew somebody would have to be on roids to sack me. At first I thought my recievers weren't trying but this makes a lot of sense. I heard he has a little Lights Out dance after he sacks someone. But I've never seen it because I've been under a bunch of people picking grass out my mouth whenever he does it.
Lights Out is a cool nickname. Since he gave it to himself, maybe we can give ourselves cool nicknames too. Any suggestions?

Polishing my Pro Bowl MVPs,
THE MANning

From: ManningMeister19@aol.com
To: 3RingKing@gmail.com
Date: Oct 31, 2006: 4:05 PM
Subject: Thought of Some

Dude I came up with some good ones. I'll do the ones for you first. Reggie Wayne was telling me about something he did with his hair called microbraids? Maybe you could be Tom Micro Brady! I mean, I guess that means you're small, but micro sounds cool. Or your initials are TB, so you could be tuburculoesis! Like you're a disease! I couldn't think of anything for your number. It rhymes with elves kind of. You could just go with something cool like Tom Terrific or Tom Tubular or Tom Too Cool. Do any of these sound good to you? Just remember that I thought of them first!

For me I wanted to do something about me being from Louisiana. Something like Raging Cajun or Riverboat Gambler or Hurricane Peyton. Those are all taken though. Well maybe not the last one, but that sounds like a boxer name. Then I tried to find out if my dad had a nickname. Because if he did, I could just go by that one too. I don't think he ever had one. Then I thought of a good one. My initials are PM so why not Tylenol? Like Tylenol has a type of Tylenol you take at night called Tylenol PM, and maybe I'm so good that you have to take medicine. But at the same time, I am the medicine. I fix things. I like it.

Wanna play Halo sometime?

Tuck Rule my ass :)
Tylenol

To: ManningMeister19@aol.com
From: MAILER_DAEMON@aol.com
Date: Oct 31, 2006: 4:06 PM
Subject: Your E-Mail could not be delivered

3RingKing@aol.com is not a known E-Mail address. Please check the account and re-send the message.

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