Tuesday, December 19, 2006

"Jelly wrote an article, are you serious?"- Tank

To paraphrase a popular line from a Christmas movie:

"Yes Tank, there is a Santa Claus, and he has given you an article by Jelly"

Truth be told I have my attempts at consistently writing an article have been non-existent at best. Granted, my time has been taken up by family, job issues and the now ever present finals cram.

Now that i'm off that self-loathing tick, I can get down to the matter at hand. I turned 20 this weekend( spent that day drinkin OE and watching the Saints, once again fuck you finals for starting the next day). I decided what better than give you my All-star Teams (10 players each, 20 total) after 20ish games(yea finals and family problems kind of delayed that). That popping noise you heard was John Hollinger's/ David Berri's brain exploding from the sheer mathematical synergy of this post.

This installment will deal with the Eastern Conference Starters

Starting Lineup

PG- Chauncey Billups (DET) 18.6 pts 8.4 ast 3.0 rbs #1 Head Honcho
-Simply put he is the MAN in Detroit. If an alternate scenario would've happened this summer where it would have been Billups bolting for Milwaukee instead of Big Ben going to Chi- Town the Pistons record would be around the 4-16 mark right now, while Milwaukee would be riding a 14-6 mark behind Chauncey's leadership. He takes facilates the offense, play the D and most importantly takes last second shots for Detroit (we all know Rip needs a screen-and -roll game for him to effectively score).

SG- Dwyane Wade (MIA) 27.5 pts 8.2 ast 4.9rebs 7 falls 8 rises
- Suffering from the Iverson Complex right now, his transcendent talent wasted on a poorly concieved Heat Roster. Once Shaq leaves he will forever toil in lower half of the east with players who barely resemble basketball players. Although trading/deadline next year will be pivotal for them as around 10 million gets wiped off the books in free agency. If the Heat can swing a deal for Backup/ Future replacement for Shaq or a quality 3, (Dorell Wright and Shimmy Walker are not long term answers) maybe the Heat might have a bigger championship window, otherwise Wade will be the role Iverson with Riley playing the part of Larry Brown, Alonzo Mourning in a beautiful perfromance as Dikembe, and Gary Payton getting a best supporting nod for being Eric Snow. Besides that though this kid is unstoppable, and once he learns to play Defense for 48mins and the old ball returns Wade will continue to dominate boxscores, the wins however may be a tad harder to come by.

Who wants to sex Alonzo?!

SF-Lebron James (CLE) 27.3 pts 6.7 rebs 6.8 ast .480 fg% 1 stylish commercial series
- As Tank knows, I am not a fan of Lebron though I do respect his game, So Tank'll probably elaborate on the King during his season review.

If he played in those clothes I would instantly become a fan

PF- Chris Bosh (TOR) 20.5 pts 12.2 rebs 1.1 blk 1 Cast of Euro-Stars
-I wrote about him in my (only) season preview of the Raps and said this was the year he took his game to the Superstar level. So far he has willed the Raps to being competive in the truly dreadful east, hell they aren't even that far back of NJ for the division lead. He leads the team in pts and is 2nd in the NBA in rebounds. He won't graduate to all-NBA till he gets more blocks/steals.

C- Dwight Howard (ORL) 17.1 pts 12.7 rebs 1.9 blk 1 revelation away from being the first Basketball-evangelist
-What scares me is that this kid is only 21 years old. He has everything required to be an unstoppable force in the league. To take this kid over the top however he needs 2 things, one plausible and the other very unlikely. First, I just don't know if this kid has the mean streak to truly be a dominat center, granted he is only 21 and hasn't been slighted by someone yet so hopefully he'll get backstabbed during the playoffs and come out next looking like Moses Malone 2.0. Second, this is just a pipe dream but he needs an over-the-top Iron Sheik-like low post rival. The NBA marketing machine could build it up like a WWE pay-per-view event. "God's Chosen" vs "Allah's Warrior" with interviews and backstage sneak attacks by Carlos Arroyo, it'd be brilliant.

And introducing the starting center for your ATLANTA HAWKS IRON SHEIK!!!!

1 comment:

Tank said...

I voted for the same players as you. But instead of Bosh I chose Nocioni. You know me.