Sunday, January 14, 2007

Saints, Baby. Saints

If you're from New Orleans, or have any stake in Saints football--which pretty much means you're from New Orleans, since no one would torture themselves by being a Saints fan willingly--tonight is a special night. It took us forty years to get to this point, and chances are you already have a bunch of text or away messages that look like this:

I guess I should compose this a little more professionally, but I'd rather not wait to become more rational or less wrapped up in the moment.

A few notes:

- Don't drive around with Saints gear, a hand stamp, and a pair of beads with a huge fleur de lis while pumping Baby Boy Da Prince. You might as well have a car decal that says, "I'm totally buzzing right now."

- I watched the game at Rock 'N Bowl, and I swear that they only had three songs for commercial breaks: "A Little Less Conversation (Junkie XL Remix)" by Elvis Presley, "When the Saints Go Marching In" by Elvis Presley, and "The Saints Are Coming" by U2 and Green Day. I heard "The Saints Are Coming" at least ten times. You can say that it has special significance for the team and everything, but that song is at least as bad as "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" by Eiffel 65.

- I broke the record for Jeff Garcia gay jokes. Look, I'm as tolerant as a Catholic Republican can be. And for the record, I'm sure the guy isn't gay, as irrelevant as being gay would actually be. But as Terrell Owens said, "If it looks like a rat, and it smells like a rat, it's probably just a quarterback with a bad throwing motion." At any rate, "Merry Chrissssssssstmasssssssss, Philadelphia.

"Watch those hands, Jeffrey." That skullcap and Eagles hat may look tough where you come from, but everyone and his aunt knows you just wear it so that you don't mess up your hair. Pace.

- By the way, Deuce McAllister willed us to victory. 143 yards on 21 rushes, two touchdowns in the second half, 31 crucial first downs. I think I like him more than any other person associated with Ole Miss. And that includes William Faulkner. Absalom, Absalom? More like Absalom, touchdown.

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The goal line extends infinitely.

- In all seriousness, there's no way I could have imagined this after watching Aaron Brooks throw the ball out of bounds ten times a game last year.

This is a team that gave a beer truck driver a try-out, and then had that beer truck driver be a Pro Bowl starter. I wouldn't want it any other way.

1 comment:

Bryan said...

I swear to you, from where I was in the dome, it looked like Deuce drove that pile ten yards, not the five that it looks like on the highlights.

And then the light of heaven shown upon him, for verily, I say unto you, he is reborn.