Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Your Post-Spring Hodson-to-Fuller Update:

It's been a while since TANBR has mentioned anything about its sister site (no homo) Hodson to Fuller's main subject of interest. Lobbying, scandal, spring performance, depth chart movements, and a confusing Ricky Jean-Francois Campus Cribs later, it's about time I put my months-old thoughts into words.

5/19/07: Ryan Perrilloux, Idiot
Our favorite Mister Football continues his inevitable journey to U.L. Monroe by getting arrested for trying to board the Hollywood Casino at five in the evening. No cuffs were used, and the East St. John product remained "contrite and respectful during the incident." I was in the process of emotionally detaching myself from LSU's best recruit ever back in January, when terms like 'conspiracy,' 'money laundering,' and 'FBI' were being thrown around. But that story seemed to resolve itself, for better or worse-- see, Perrilloux was only tangentially involved, and the Bureau just wanted to question him. It doesn't help that this latest incident took place at a casino, where the money laundering conspiracy centered around using counterfeit money in exchange for casino tokens.

If you prorate his 2006 statline, RP is due for a 3/10, 24 yd season.
Whatever. I'm not going to argue with Les Miles feeling the need to completely sever ties with the Victory Cigarillo. Moral uprightness is a much higher priority to Les Miles than it ever was to Saban, and scanning the roster reveals very few Troy Giddens-types. We're actually the most mature team I can ever remember. A decent quarterback prospect like Jarrett Lee sitting back and watching Perrilloux take the 2008 job after all of this can't be very good for team chemistry.
5/1/07: Speaking of Troy Giddens...
The troubled DB prospect stayed in the news four weeks after his first incident by putting DE prospect Joseph Barksdale in the hospital. Giddens was an attractive DB grab in the 2006 recruiting class and half of a potential Jai Eugene/Giddens defensive backfield. No Fulmer Cup points, as he had already been kicked off the team in April (see below). What's worse than replacing a talented DB is-- well, I'll let LSUPD captain Russell Roge take it away: "There was a disagreement between two other people, words were exchanged and Giddens hit the victim. He was hit, and he was hurt bad enough to where he was out of the fight at that point. There was no indication there was a fistic encounter between both of them." That's right, our Detroit-native DE superprospect got paced in one punch by a defensive back. It was particularly chilling to read Joe's "recovering in the hospital" facebook status update. Only one thing could cheer him up:
5/7/07: Sports Illustrated Swings Their Weight Around, Pulls Off a Ricky Jean-Francois Campus Cribs
How many times did they go through the West Campus phonebook calling the likes of Glenn Dorsey, Early Doucet, Matt Flynn, Ali Highsmith, etc.? Ten? Thirty? Finally, they secured a coveted RJF photoshoot featuring (a presumably pre-hospital) Joe Barksdale that debuted May 7. Fortunately, I was able to scan the archive and save the nine photos to my hard drive. Yep.

Chillin'. I'm going to save the majority of these for mid-season, since I fully expect RJF to have a breakout season. There's one with him eating raw cookie dough out of the refrigerator.
5/18/07: Glenn Dorsey's Playboy Photoshoot

Kind of a disappointment. A healthy Dorsey's a lock in the top six or seven next draft, though, if only for the shortage of DTs every season. If I were a young, talented DE, I think I'd go on a Gatti's diet, work out my legs only, learn to fall correctly, and become a run-clogging DT.

5/18/07: Mike V, 1989-2007
Can't really say anything here that hasn't been said before. The name 'Mike' comes from former athletic trainer Michael Chambers. Mike V was the third-longest tenured live bengal tiger mascot behind Mike I and Mike III. Tigers live to between 14 and 18 years, so the tiger handlers (?) must've seen this coming. Ironically, the school mascot of 29 national championships was born in Alabama. The $3 million habitat goes unused until a new Mike is found.

5/19/07: Silly PETA
As you've heard, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has asked the university by letter to forgo acquiring a sixth Mike the Tiger. LSU's response: "The LSU mascot is a part of LSU. We plan to get another one by football season. Having a live Tiger at LSU is important to the students and is a tradition." Hard. "LSU's two-year old, $3 million, 15,000-square foot, zoo-like habitat already has plaques for Mike VII, VIII, IX, X and so on above the main viewing area." Harder. There's very little to argue here. The average lifespan of a tiger in the wild is 8-10 years. In captivity, cared for by the LSU School of Veterinary Medicine? 14-18 years. In the $3 million habitat? Probably more like 28 years. BRCC student Corey Kilburn, take it away: "I think PETA's just mad because they don't have a tiger."

4/9/07: LSU Storms into the Fulmer Cup Race
Not much (free) media left on this story, but it involved Troy Giddens and Zhamal Thomas (some offensive line scrub) contributing to unarmed robberies and identity thefts. Say what you will about LSU football criminals, but they've been pretty white-collar this 2007 offseason. LSU enters the Fulmer Cup Race with an impressive nine-point showing (via EDSBS):

5/23/07: I Love Trindon Holliday: Records Should Be Broken
Boy's been nursing an ankle sprain through most of his track season. And, yeah, most articles spend eighty percent of their words on how small he is. Let him stand next to The House! I love my football team: "All [Holliday] did was set the school record with a 10.08 in the 100 meters to win the first individual championship of his career. The time broke the school record of 10.09 set last June by All-American Xavier Carter, who then turned pro after becoming the first since Jesse Owens in 1936 to win four individual titles at the NCAA Championships.'Xavier called me the day after I did it,' Holliday said. 'He was training in Tennessee. He said that's how it should be. Records should be broken. He called me the night before to say I could do it, too.' Wait, Xavier trains?

Straight from Countdown County, it's our generation's Jesse Owens.

All Spring: Les Miles, Wheelin' and Dealin'

Les Miles will never win a championship because he'd just be too loved by the state. He couldn't go anywhere. I bet right now, without a title, more than half the wives in Louisiana would pace our favorite politician. And you know what? The husbands would probably just ask for a parking pass and be on their way.

Spring Winners:
Craig Steltz, S: Steltz was named to the Sporting News' All-Spring team. Craig was the de facto free safety last season with Jesse Daniels' injuries, so I'm confident he can resemble LaRon's on-field leadership at strong safety.

Early Doucet, WR: Doucet starts his potentially memorable 2007 with an honorable mention to said All-Spring team. Name another receiver in college football right now with more of a skill set than Early.

Richard Murphy, RB: the quiet Murhpy seemingly wowed everyone with speed, size, and durability, and should spell Keiland Williams and Jake Hester off the bench nicely this season.

Spring Losers:
Alley Broussard, RB: this was supposed to be the spring that Broussard went back from 260 to 240 lbs, earned back the respect of his coaches and teammates. Nope. Dude's still tremendously out of shape, to the point that Miles wouldn't let him participate in the first five practices.

Ryan Perrilloux, QB: any chance of stretching his playing time into three seasons was denied along with his brother's ID at Hollywood Casino.

Those are some B.A. posters, Rick.

- P.T.

No comments: