Monday, May 05, 2008
Things You Didn't Know about Manu Ginobili
Reggie Miller seems bent on making excuses for the Spurs' poor performance against the Hornets. Rather than match-up problems or intimidation from the crowd, surely the problem is that "they're emotionally drained from the Phoenix series" or "Tim Duncan was deathly ill for twenty-four hours." I guess it's completely impossible that the Hornets could be a better team than the Spurs, and we definitely don't want to give them any credit for a well-executed gameplan. Hey, here are some things about Manu Ginobili that you might not have known:
When Manu Ginobili remembers to wear deodorant, it's usually Mitchum.
If Manu Ginobili could be any character in Punch-Out!, he would be Soda Popinski.
Remember in elementary school when you had a friend whose dad was an M.D., but you didn't know and called him Mister Schultz? And he snapped back, "It's Doctor Schultz"? Manu Ginobili is the idea of that guy correcting a ten-year-old to feel good about his credentials.
Manu Ginobili's favorite question at restaurants: "Do you have Diet Sierra Mist?"
Every week Manu Ginobili buys a half-pound of olive loaf. While he's at the grocery store, he eats grapes without paying for them.
While he likes grapes, Manu Ginobili hates raisins, so he pretended to be allergic to them throughout his childhood.
Manu Ginobili licks his fingers when cutting cake for other people.
Manu Ginobili doesn't know the difference between crocodiles and alligators. And neither do you.
Your parents told you about sex because they didn't want you hearing misinformation on the streets. The day after they had the talk with you, Manu Ginobili told you that sex was safer if you "double-bagged that shit."
Manu Ginobili enjoys putting together puzzles.
Manu Ginobili doesn't have auto insurance.
Contrary to popular belief, the hit song "You Oughta Know" is actually about Manu Ginobili.
Manu Ginobili's college nickname was Rusty.
One time the streets flooded after school, and you had to go home with a kid in your carpool until the water went down enough for your parents to pick you up. As you pulled into the guy's driveway, he said ominously, "Now we're going to have to take off all our clothes." You were young and kind of intimidated by this proposition, until the kid's mom said, "Uh, nope. Just your socks and shoes." You always kind of wondered what that dude's deal was, why he was so excited about getting naked. You never followed up on it, and the last time you saw him was, quite innocuously, at a Wendy's drive-through seven years ago. Um...Manu Ginobili.
Manu Ginobili's favorite part of a newspaper is Hagar the Horrible.
When Manu Ginobili is passing you in tight quarters, he goes, "Meep-meep."
Manu Ginobili owns more than one shirt that prominently features flames.
If he really had to choose a favorite Beatles song, Manu Ginobili would pick "Birthday."
Manu Ginobili pronounces Target "Tarjay."
Manu Ginobili shines flashlights into people's eyes.