Monday, June 23, 2008

The NBA Draft Terminology Fantasy Draft

Every blog and its mother has fashioned a sports draft drinking game, but it's a bit presumptuous, isn't it? Does everyone who watches the NBA Draft love drinking? How does the more abstemious sports fan ring in the Danilo Gallinari era? More importantly, how do you celebrate Thursday if you pass out from drinking every night anyway?

To celebrate the end/beginning of the NBA season, we've created the Fantasy NBA Draft Terminology Draft. In the ol' serpentine draft order, Jelly, P.T., and I each picked the eight words we expect to hear the most on Thursday night.


Sadly, the word "banger" was not drafted.

The rules are as simple as we could make them:
1. Every time Jay Bilas and company use one of our words, we get a point.
2. If two of our words are used in the same sentence, the points are doubled; that is, if Stephen A. evaluates a player with "upside potential," I get four points instead of two.
3. Most variations on words count. Thus, "leap" also includes "leaping ability" and so on. It should be noted that these words have to be used when judging a player. You don't get points if someone points out that the telecast is running "long."
4. Obviously, you couldn't pick a word like "college" or--very clever--"basketball," and there were a few times when we challenged and struck down a pick for being too general.
5. Whoever has the most points by the end of the show wins.

In true form, Jelly tried to trade down his first pick, and I asked if I could draft Italian words. Anyway, here's how our draft played out. Be sure to come back on Friday morning to see how many hundreds of times "athletic" was said.

Round One
1. Jelly- athletic
2. Tank- potential
3. P.T.- long/length

Round Two
4. P.T.- physical
5. Tank- upside
6. Jelly- maturity

Round Three
7. Jelly- attitude
8. Tank- range
9. P.T.- skill/skilled

Round Four
10. P.T.- wingspan
11. Tank- character
12. Jelly- basketball IQ

Round Five
13. Jelly- motor
14. Tank- contribute
15. P.T.- transition

Round Six
16. P.T.- tremendous
17. Tank- leap
18. Jelly- versatility

Round Seven
19. Jelly- tweener
20. Tank- raw
21. P.T.- outstanding

Round Eight
22. P.T.- perimeter
23. Tank- slasher
24. Jelly- soft


I forget how physically draining this always is.

If anyone wants to help me count pretty much every word said on the broadcast, they're welcome to do so. Let us know which words we passed up in the comments.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm going to express some reservations on pick #8. With 'range,' you obviously get 'rangy' as well... but I don't think you should get 'midrange' too. They don't pertain to the same thing, unless Bilas is saying something like "Robin Lopez's length would fall in the mid-rangy category." You shouldn't get points for "Derrick Rose has a phenomenal stop-and-shoot midrange game." Just a thought.

- P.T.

Tank said...

Can we say that "mid-range" and "long-range" don't count but other things do? Only range and rangy count? I picked range specifically because it can be used for size or shooting distance. I understand this is dicey, but it doesn't seem fair to only count range in the sense of reach and wingspan either.

Anonymous said...

"Motor" was the steal of your draft!!!

Pave the Whales said...

I hope one of you rushes to sign "character" as a free agent.

john said...

how was "freakish" not drafted? someone sign him to as a free agent.

Gellman said...

Im surprised no one drafted "intangibles" - that is key!

Anonymous said...

Intangibles could be the #1 pick next year when Hansbrough is drafted.

Carter Blanchard said...

"Skill" at 9 is a huge steal for its versatility. "Tremendous" and "outstanding" both have tremendous upside as well. PT seems like the prohibitive favorite by far.