The NBA Draft has come and gone, and I'm not sure if our fantasy draft experiment has been a success. Here are the results:
Jelly- Jelly cleaned up with 88 points overall, but "athletic" alone had 71 points. He would have won on the strength of just that word. "Versatility" had a pretty good showing also, but "soft" wasn't used once. Jells had four bonuses, the best of which was Jay Bilas' "He's a good athlete--not a great athlete--but a better athlete than most people give him credit for."
P.T.- This was a well-rounded showing of 60 points, since "long," "skill," and "wingspan" each had nineteen hashmarks. The analysts also used each of P.T.'s words at least once, which was not the case for Jelly or me. He had two bonuses. At certain points, it seemed as if Bilas was actively trying to avoid saying some of P.T.'s words, like the time when he described Robin Lopez's wingspan as "considerable linear expansion in space." Meanwhile, if P.T. had drafted the phrase "Robin Lopez collects Disney memorabilia" instead of "tremendous," he would have had just as many points.
Tank- I had a terrible performance of 55. "Potential" was the saving grace of my picks, with thirty-eights instances. Most of those were bonuses too. If Dickie V hadn't blessed me with the bonus of "potential, potential, potential," I might have an even more embarrassing total. "Contribute," "raw," and "leap" weren't used at all as a matter of fact. When Stu Scott was talking about a player's "vertical jump," I started to get really frustrated. If only I had drafted some variation of "x number of freshmen have been drafted, which is a record." Really, Stuart? There are new rules that specifically encourage the number of freshmen drafted to be higher, and the number of freshmen drafted are higher? That's awesome.
Some of the words we missed, in order of their frequency, were: "strong," "finish," "talent," "leadership," "tough," "quick," "efficient," "productive," "pure," and "Adam Silver is a dildo."
Maybe I'm just a little bitter. Whoever thought I would miss Russ Granik so much?