Friday, August 08, 2008

College Football Media Roundup

Football Bowl Subdivision (no longer Division I-A-- compliant is the new stubborn):

Penn State
Finally, an offense with a more ludicrous name than 'Wildcat.' "Penn State quarterbacks coach Jay Paterno dubbed the team's new style of offense "Spread HD" earlier this year. He joked that HD could stand for high definition or highly diverse as long as it's not a huge dud."

The Buffaloes continue to represent environmentally-friendly Boulder with their new zero-waste initiative and valet bike parking. Yep. "CU officials want to funnel all food and beverage containers and other stadium debris into either recyclable or compost bins."

Georgia/Fulmer Cup
Alabama still leads by six late in the game, but Georgia made quite an introduction last weekend. "The only quasi-sane way to gauge a program’s actual quantified feloniousness is balancing the number of charges with the severity of the charges, thus avoiding giving UGA the Cup for having the most arrests of a paltry sort, and avoiding giving it to one program based on one huge neutron-bomb of an arrest."

Jimmy Clausen
Jimmy Clausen is beginning to act-- and look-- like Burt Bannon. "Besides the solo cups and pitchers with a beer-like liquid, we’re puzzled as to why the QB of the 25th ranked (according to the LA Times) team in the country is wearing a red satin jacket and a shirt from the Ultimate Warrior’s clothing line."

Ryan Perrilloux
The other side of the Perrilloux tragedy isn't much kinder. "He [could] have been meeting the nation's media at SEC Kickoff 2008 two weeks ago in Birmingham instead of answering questions from the state media in the basement of the football building at Jacksonville State."

Josh Jarboe
"Earlier this week, Jarboe was the subject of a 74-second video posted on YouTube. Jarboe's obscenity-laced rap included references to shooting people and guns."
I imagine Jarboe looking back on this video in twenty years and going, I got expelled for that? A bunch of single entendres sloppily pasted together without a semblance of a beat?

Are due to the supremely underrated Wizard of Odds. It tells me everything I need to know about college football news and notes every morning. Many of the above links were found through them.

LSU: I Feel Like You Need To Know These Things:

Keiland Williams
"LSU tailback Keiland Williams and fullback Quinn Johnson have two of the more unique nicknames on the team. The speedy, 6-foot, 226-pound Williams is called 'Big Brown' after the horse that won the last Kentucky Derby, and the beefy, 6-2 Johnson is called 'Devastation' for his blocking ability." Something tells me Big Brown is also a locker room reference as well (super no homo).

"There was something different about the new shoes LSU players are sporting this week: spats. The shiny white covers provided an unbroken look to the cleats whipping across the divot-free practice fields." August is a slow month for the media. Except for us.

Patrick Johnson, er, Peterson
The CB wunderkind has apparently changed his last name.

Ryan Perrilloux
A fascinating article examining life without Perrilloux. Some notable players actually take off the kid gloves here. "'Every other week we’d hear about something he’d done. Everybody’s asking you, "What’s the deal with Perrilloux?" everywhere you’d go. It just got old to me. I got tired of hearing it.'"

Black Vynm
Snoop Dogg's visit prompted a little jealousy from Big Fave. “I think we’re still [Les Miles's] favorite hip-hop group,” Favorite said. “We just need to teach him some of the songs.”

Richard Dickson
"Junior tight end Richard Dickson said the fact that he’s switched to No. 18 this season is part of a new [white dude] tradition among the Tigers." It apparently was transferred from Mauck to Hester to Dickson.

Steele Hull
"The contest for the best name on LSU’s current roster may be no contest. Steele Hull is listed as a walk-on fullback from Sugar Land Elkins in Texas."

Snoop Dogg
Just for posterity's sake.


Will said...

Throw. A. Way.

P.T. said...

Keep up the good work, lawya. Pretty soon TANBR's going to be blocked by your network admin.

Will said...

That would probably be the proudest moment in TANBR history. Right up there with (almost) interviewing some basketball player noone had ever heard of.

The World Channel 1 Networks said...

Actually, there wa a bank roberry in Boulder just before kick off. I walked in on it and had 600 m-16s point at my direction. see my blog.